Being a mummy can be really hard

I think sometimes it's good to acknowledge to you guys that it's not always breezy sailing raising a family and balancing everything in between. In fact, the truth is that it's very far from breezy easy! My blog posts do only reflect snippets of our day after all, and so much more happens than we detail to the world. 
I would hate to be the kind of person who didn't honestly address that parenting is hard work and there are days when I look like a nervous wreck dragged through a hedge backwards with a toddler sitting on my hip and a protruding pregnant belly through my pyjamas- It's not exactly the romantic and glamorous life my honeymoon promised! 

And I don't want my blog to ever look like a perfect scenario of invented blissful harmony. It doesn't exist! We have our ups and downs all the time. If I'm honest, at the moment I have never felt more challenged in my vocation to parenthood. This actually has little to do with my beautiful boy Noah but more about me as a mother and wife learning to stretch my time, balance my priorities and get to the end of the day in one piece! 

As the weeks pass, I am finding myself called to be more and more selfless and struggling with the consequences of my new reality. 

It isn't easy to never know when you might get five minutes to your own thoughts, to get out of the house by yourself, or to make it through a day knowing you're pining for just a bit of adult conversation. 
Life has changed so much in the last few years and as wonderful and blessed as it has been, (and it really has!) when I walked up the aisle on my wedding day, beautifully naive, I could not have begun to imagine what the reality of my wedding vows would demand of me in the future. Two years in, it's only now that I am beginning to comprehend them and truly understand their gravity. 

They are so relevant to everyday life, I cannot tell you that enough. I think that is the beauty of Catholic marriage. Our vows are vows that we absolutely must connect with and silently repeat each and every day because, you realise after a while that they represent a 'guide' to coping on days when giving up seems the easier option.

The more of myself I am recognising that I have to give up, the more I am realising the depth to my vocation as a married woman and mother of two. And I have a slightly scary feeling that I am only just scratching the surface! 

There are plenty of mothers and fathers in my life who have and are doing such a wonderful job, but I think secretly we all sometimes wonder how does somebody else's life look so easy, or how do they always manage to cope so well!? But parenting isn't a competition, it's not a race for perfection and I think it's safe to say we all struggle with it sometimes!

Let me tell you now there are days when I really don't know what I'm doing and I relish the thought of how easy life was back when I only had myself to please. But I also know I wouldn't swap what I have now for the world. I have a challenge on my hands every day, but my husband and I are also the only ones who can say we are responsible for nurturing and maintaining these little lives entrusted to us and even though it doesn't always feel like it, we are doing wonderful work, unrepeatable work and invaluable work. 

Just reflecting on this carries me through sometimes and I'm happy for you all to know that I struggle and find my role as a parent extremely hard. And it's okay to feel all of those things!

Mama's who find it tough, mama's who are scared to admit it for fear of what other's will think, and mama's who just need to know it's okay to not always have the answer- you are doing a wonderful job. Your children are your greatest achievement and may God bless your vocation and your mission.

Love Bunty
 a.k.a young mummy just trying to muddle my way through!

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